Highlight of the month

As sad as this may sound, the highlight of the month would have to go to tonight's little mishap of almost falling off my bed and taking an unusual amount of time trying to get back on without hitting my head or completely falling off. But what did I expect when stupidly sliding backwards on the edge of the bed in complete darkness? Clearly not that!

All I can say is thank GOD for the protruding bed frame that saved me from making one of the most ungraceful falls of my klutzy career. Though it's about time those bed frames did something other than give me multiple bruises!

So the lesson in all of this is never try to slide backwards on your bed in the dark, or if you're prone to doing it anyway then may I suggest purchasing a bed with bedframes that stick out!

Until next time...

I HATE YOU.

Dreams have a funny, sneaky way of coming in and disrupting your normal thought processes. Just when you think everything is fine and you feel fine, something like this comes along and makes you wonder if everything really is fine.

Things like this can't happen! I'm OVER it. OVER! As in, should-not-be-having-couple-dreams sort of over! Stupid subconscious. I hate you subconscious. Making me dream destructive, self-undoing things like this.

I'm not going back there. I'd convinced myself entirely I was not there anymore. And it was working, it really was. It wasn't even convincing, it was just how I felt. Do feel, I mean. Disregarding the subliminal joy I felt during the dream, it's pretty much imperative I don't let myself feel that way in real life. Because like I said, letting myself feel that kind of joy only he can elicit from me is the key to my undoing. I almost fell apart once, because of him. Almost. Imagine if I did completely crumple. And the beauty of it is, he has no idea he did that to me.

That's the funny thing about this sort of thing isn't it. The absolute power someone has over you without even knowing they have it. And you, not even realising this power they hold over you until you step back and look at yourself from afar. It's not like you explicitly gave consent to them. They coaxed it out of you, and you silently gave it to them, without a fight. Because deep inside, it's what you wanted. You wanted to be owned by someone. To be theirs. But at the same time, you wanted them to be yours. Only when that part of the bargain didn't come through, it was too late. You signed the contract, and you couldn't get yourself out. Funnily enough, you didn't feel ripped off, even though you should've. It's funny isn't it.

But you know, it's a lucky thing I'm not there anymore.